The things that haunt us in the daytime are even scarier at night
by adangerousbond
Summary: Amelia isn't sure how to deal with Derek's disapperence and the only person who appears to be in her corner is the one person she's screwed everything up with. One Shot.


This is just a quick oneshot because these two are quickly becoming an obsession of mine!  
I have never written anyone from greys, so will gladly take any feedback.  
Sorry for any errors, I wrote this up pretty quickly as I just couldn't get it out of my head and it was affecting my uni assignment.  
I dont own anything.  
Enjoy!

* * *

The red and blue flashing lights drew her out of the half asleep daze she had been in, warn out from the physically and emotionally day she had had prolonged by a much needed stop at a meeting on her way home. That enticing feeling of nearly being able to stop was instantly replaced with ice cold fear as Amelia pulled her car off to the side of a squad car. She sat in her car staring at the house ahead, trying to force herself to go inside, to face whatever answer lay ahead and most of all to stop thinking worst case. Catching sight of Meredith pacing in the lounge room, she tried to gauge so sort of answer from the other woman's body language but the only answer she got was that she needed to go inside and support her sister-in-law.

Gaining what strength she had left from today, Amelia forced herself to walk determinedly towards the house, only pausing slightly at the door. The moment she entered, Meredith's glaze locked on hers and the grief in her eyes gave Amelia the answer she had been afraid of, it was bad.

"Who are you?" A young officer asked, moving formally over to her.

"Amelia Shepherd." She stammered out, "I live here."

"Derek's sister." Meredith spoke up before turning her speech to Amelia. "He's missing."

"What? How?" Amelia asked, feeling slightly relieved that he could still be alive.

"Your brother was in a car crash, ma'am. We found his car and the other involved on a road not used much this time of year and have yet to locate him." The officer explained, trying to keep an impassive face but lacking the years of experience needed.

"Was there a lot of blood?" Amelia questioned, "Do they know if he was injured?"

"Ahh, I haven't gotten a full report from the medical examiner yet, but I do know there was a lot of blood." He responded, glancing between the two women with a weird expression as they had both asked similar questions.

She stayed by Meredith's side all night, the tiredness she had been feeling long been erased by the situation at hand. The two barely spoke, barely made any move to be more

The silence that had hung over the house for the most part of the night was quickly shattered the moment Maggie burst through the door, having received the news via a text when she had asked about spending time with her niece and nephew. She moved straight for the couch that Meredith and Amelia had taken up residence on and instantly started babbling about how terrible it all was.

After a couple minutes of listening to Maggie's concerned and helpful voice, Amelia got up and moved to the kitchen with a quiet excuse of needing coffee.

Leaning against the counter cradling a cup of dark, strong coffee Amelia watched the two, unsurprised that Meredith preferred the support of her real sister, the happy one without the dark and twisted outlook on life, without the questionable history, the one who was good at being alone, the one that was able to be more emotionally available. She was glad Meredith had someone like that there to support her, but standing there watching the two, Amelia felt more alone than she had in a long time.

"You look like you could use a drink." The officer spoke up from his place near the counter, with Derek still technically being involved in a project with connections to the president the police presence had been forced upon them.

"Or two." His partner spoke up, the older woman trying to lighten the mood, not realising the mistake they were making.

Amelia took a deep breath, attempting to collect herself before glaring at both and leaving the room, figuring she might as well just get ready for work as her shift started in two hours and Derek clearly wouldn't be turning up for his. She kept her mind busy with the simple tasks of turning on the shower and getting out of her clothes, not letting herself think about the urge inside of her to relapse and not letting that voice inside of her head telling her a pill or two would only help numb the pain be heard.

Sliding down the wall to sit on the floor after she shut the shower door, Amelia let the water rush over her, to wash away her tears and her pain.

When she re-entered the kitchen, Maggie was in there cooking breakfast, confirming her thoughts that she wasn't needed there.

"I'm going to work." Amelia spoke up, not really sure who she was telling but feeling the need to explain where she was going.

"Can you tell them we won't be in today?" Maggie asked, a bright smile on her face as she waved her out the door.

"Sure." Amelia responded, her years of practice allowing herself to keep an unreadable, blank expression across her face, not allowing an ounce of pain she was feeling show.

* * *

Stopping at a meeting on her way to work, Amelia felt slightly more in control than when she left but the fear was growing with every second of no news. She wasn't sure how much more loss she could take, especially of the only other person who had experienced what happened that day, who had lived through what had taken away their father and jump started their need to run.

The first few hours at the hospital were easy, a simple surgery not only took her mind of things but also kept her hidden from a large portion of the hospital's staff. Edwards had yet to hear the news and was contempt at keeping the conversation work related.

A page to the E.R toward the end of her shift had changed that, thankfully it had come from Kepner, as she wasn't quite sure if she could keep it together if faced with Owen, the one person she struggled to keep out.

"Shepherd!" Callie's voice yelled across the room as she entered, the slight anger behind the word making her jump slightly.

"What?" She snapped, not in the mood.

"Why are you here? You should be with Grey. Is she okay? Is there any news? How are the kids taking it, oh god, those poor kids." Callie rattled off, the questions coming out faster than Amelia could even think right now.

"Maggie's with her." Amelia answered casually.

"That's good, she should have family with her." Callie responded, happy with the response. She stared at the doctor in front of her. "Are they preparing for the worse? Is it at that stage yet?"

"Please tell me it's not, I only just got her out of my house." Alex groaned as he joined in.

"We should go over there! Or just call her for now, until our shift ends." Callie instructed Alex as she dragged him off to check up on Meredith.

Amelia glanced around, forgetting for a second why she was even there. Callie had just thrown her, how could people already be preparing that he's dead. She couldn't help but wonder if that's what she should be preparing for.

"Over here Dr Shepherd." April said, reminding her why she was there and that she had a job to do.

* * *

Owen had stopped by the house when he got the message, he had made sure Meredith was okay and didn't need anything but had also been hoping to check up on Amelia. He wasn't sure if he should be pissed at her for going to work or if he should be worried about her, either way he wasn't surprised she had.

When he reached the hospital he was bombarded with questions, from the press and patients but mainly from his staff. By the time he had a chance to find her, he had found out she had been on two surgery's and nearing the end of her shift but had said she would stand in for Derek as being on-call.

He found her sitting on a bed in an on-call room, her back against the wall as she attempted to slow her mind enough to relax, a task she had decided was futile as if she managed to make herself stop expecting the worse,

"You should go home." He told her, taking in the exhausted woman in front of him. "When was the last time you even slept?"

"What day is it?" She asked, trying to come of light but slow response made it come of more serious.

"Go home Amelia." He spoke more sternly attempting to cover his concern with management

"I don't think I can." She responded after a moment, dropping his gaze as she tried to regain the composure she had been managing to until now, until the weight of her statement hit her. She had no real home, she had no one really in her corner and she was so afraid of how easily she could destroy herself.

"You're okay right? You're going to meetings?" He asked.

"Yeah." She said shakily. She knew he was trying to be supportive, that he was being professional and looking out for her but a part of her wished someone would understand that she wasn't just a recovering addict who may relapse, that her wounds went so much deeper than that. That even though she was closed off and didn't share, that she actually wished she could talk about it, share everything and anything, that it had been not being allowed to talk about her father's death, about what happened that had made her become so closed up. She wished she had someone she could share every last secret with, no matter how dark, and not be terrified that they would use it against her or leave her.

"Good." He responded nodding his head, not sure what else to say as he stood in front of her. The room starting to feel awkward when he realised they had been silent too long, he wasn't sure how to act around her at the moment with one part of him wanting to comfort her and the other telling him to run, that she's only going to hurt him.

"Do you think he's alive?" She asked, her voice quiet and scared stopping him in his thoughts to leave.

Looking down at the woman in front of him, he nearly felt his heart break at how terrified she looked, terrified that she had lost the only father figure she had known, the only person she really felt she had. When she dropped her gaze back to her phone in her lap, he moved to her side, sitting close enough to try to provide some sort of comfort but still maintaining some sort of space, after all, he had pushed her away when she had tried to talk, tried to make them work and he wasn't even sure if she would want him near her.

"I hope so." He answered after a beat too long, after he realised she had actually wanted an answer.

She shut her eyes, blocking the world out as she breathed slowly, pulling herself together. She wanted nothing more than to just go back to a few days ago, when the only thing that was scarring her was the possibility of loving the man next to her, when she hadn't screwed that up, but most importantly to when she didn't have to wonder every second if her brother was even alive.

He felt her head drop to his shoulder, the movement surprising him until he looked down to see her shut eyes. Days ago, he would have smiled at the action, but now, now he was just unsure. He wasn't unsure about his feelings for her, he knew he definitely had those, he was unsure if there was actually any chance they could make it. It wasn't that he didn't understand where she was coming from, they both had so many issues that neither opened up very easily but he had been prepared to, because he knew she would listen, she would understand and she wouldn't judge and knowing that there was another person who could accept him for who he was, was the thing that was making it so hard to walk away from.

Moving carefully in order not to wake her, something he knew was actually pretty difficult once she was asleep, he maneuvered them so that she was lying on the bed and he was sitting on its edge. Running a hand down the edge of her face, he couldn't help but smile at how calm and relaxed she looked sleeping, like her brain had finally shut down and none of her demons were haunting her. Forcing himself to move, he pulled a blanket up and over her and left the room.

She woke moments after he left, it took her a few moments to work out what had happened and she internally chastised herself for letting it occur. She hated that she wanted to call him back, force him to stay, because she was terrified to sleep alone, terrified of her nightmares and terrified of herself and that was just usually, when she didn't have the added concern about Derek. Sitting up, she fixed up her hair and clothes before leaving to find some coffee, knowing the chance of getting back to sleep was no existent.

* * *

He knew she had been exhausted, so was surprised when she walked through the door to the E.R less than twenty minutes after he had left her, the coffee in her hand was less of a surprise.

"Amelia?" He questioned as she neared the desk he was standing at.

"Ahh, Sorry, about… About that." She fumbled over her words, not quite sure how to say it in public. "Just sorry."

"It's fine." He said with a slight laugh, glad that the ever so small nap and caffeine hit had seemed to make her a little bit more normal. "What are you doing back here though?"

"I just came to check on my patient from before, I'm hoping he won't need surgery." She told him, business mode back on as she looked around for the patients chart.

"Any news?" Arizona asked as she approached them, "Everyone down in ped's is so worried."

"Not that I know of." Amelia answered, focusing her attention on the chart.

"How's Meredith holding up? I mean, she was struggling a little yesterday." Arizona questioned, her normal happy faced being overtaken by concern.

"Fine, I guess." Amelia responded placing the chart back and starting to walk away. "Sorry, I've got to check up on my patient."

"I'm getting someone else to be on call, you really need to go home and get some rest." Owen said following her, his instructions annoying her but she nodded an okay, knowing if she stayed too much longer she would really start to feel the weight of being in a building filled with drugs.

* * *

Arriving back nearly twenty four hours to when she had come back to find the flashing lights that had held the possibility of tearing so much from her, Amelia once more sat in her car watching the house a head. She had stopped at a meeting on the way home, which had lifted one weight slightly off her shoulders, but the bad stories that people shared just made her fear her brother's unknown fate even more, she wasn't even sure if she believed he was alive or not.

Entering the house she was surprised to find the two new officers that had replaced the two she knew, packing everything up and clearly making their way to leave.

"Did they find him?" She asked, the urgency that she needed the answer overwhelming as she felt tears spring to her eyes.

"No sorry, ma'am." The older of the two responding gently.

"Where is everyone?" Amelia asked, the letdown of an answer gave her a chance to look around and realise no one else was present.

"Meredith went with some friends, we are going to try to give you all some space." The same officer replied, his warm smile telling her that Meredith had won this lot of officers over.

"Do you know where she went?" Amelia questioned, even though she was fairly certain she knew.

"Alex? Was that his name, she went to his." The younger officer responded.

"Thanks." Amelia said as she helped them out.

Shutting the door behind her she glanced around the empty house, wishing Derek would just come home, that he would just walk into the lounge or appear from nowhere, something he seemed to enjoy doing.

Sighing as she realised that that was just not going to occur, she made her way into her bedroom, figuring that she was at least capable of showering and pretending that there was a chance she would be able to sleep.

The feeling of the warm water run over her did nothing to awaken her body up, nor did it help in removing the fear that felt branded to her skin. She stayed under the water for what felt like hours, trying her hardest to wash away the last few days, to get every last trace of them off her body as if it would help her move on from them.

Throwing on a hoodie and some underwear, she made her way back to the kitchen to force herself to eat something, figuring she was home alone so her state of dress wasn't going to be questioned. Sitting at the bench with an apple and a knife, she started slicing it into smaller pieces, more to side track her mind than for a practical purpose.

The silence was getting to her, she got that these people were Meredith's people, that she had been here longer and formed closer relationships with them but Amelia couldn't help but feel as though she was intruding on her brothers family, work and friends, that just like when they were little, his friends put up with her just because she was his little sister.

A knock at the door made her jump, she glanced around to see if the police had missed anything. Pushing aside the idea it could be Derek, knowing he wouldn't knock, she told them it was open as she couldn't be bothered getting up and didn't care enough to check who it was first.

"Ah, Hi." Owen stated as he walked through the door, not turning to take her in until he shut the door and turned around, but when he did he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hi." She responded, confused at his actions until she remember she wasn't wearing any pants. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone."

"Where is everyone?" He asked after a pause, her statement confusing him more than her state of dress, after all, he had seen her in less.

"Meredith took the kids to Alex's." Amelia informed him as she turned back to her pieces of apple.

"I was just stopping in to see if there was anything I could do to help?" He told her, the sincerity of his words nearly making her cry.

She wanted to ask him to stay, to not leave her alone but the words died in her throat, it would be unfair to him and it wasn't something she had the right to ask for. Instead, she ate a piece of the apple as she collected herself before looking back at him, just hoping her unasked demand wasn't written all over her face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, the concern and question almost pushing over everything that was stopping her.

"I'm fine." She forced out, using what strength she had left to stop herself from going too far. She didn't deserve his concern and she definitely didn't deserve him.

"Amelia." He warned and she thought for a second he was going to call her out on her lie, but instead he refrained himself and turned away. "Okay, I'll leave you to it."

"Owen." She stated louder than she expected as he neared the door, the fear of being left alone suddenly too much for her to bare.

"What?" He asked, and she realised she was supposed to continue. She stared at him as he came back over to her, his concerned eyes watching her, trying to hold her gaze.

"Please don't go." She said, not much louder than a whisper. She hated herself for asking, she hated that she had put him in this position.

"Okay, if you promise to get some sleep." He replied after a long pause, he understood how difficult it had been for her to ask.

She nodded in agreement as she stood from her spot and worked at shutting the houses lights out and making sure the door was locked. He followed silently as she made her way into her room, he hadn't been sure if he was making the right choice, but seeing her visibly relax when he agreed to stay told him he had.

He looked down at her when she stopped near her bed, he wasn't sure quite what she wanted when she asked him not to go, and where he was supposed to sleep but the half attempt at a smile and the pleading in her eyes quickly caught him up. He realised she hadn't slept since the quick nap she had had on his shoulder and that she probably couldn't without him.

"Wait." He said when she had gotten into the bed and was moving to turn the bedside lamp off, not realising he had only just sat on the edge. He felt her instantly freeze at the command, worried he had changed his mind. "You might be wearing next to nothing, but I'm still in a suit."

"Sorry." She responded quickly relaxing once she realised he just wanted the light still.

"You can turn it off now." He told her once he was in just his boxers and laying down under the blankets.

Amelia laid down and turn to stare at him after she had, she wanted to say so much to him but knew it wasn't the time or place, she also wanted to kiss him, to hold onto him for dear life but refrained herself, she had already asked too much of him.

"Thank-you, for staying." She whispered, her eyes already drifting shut.

"Always." He whispered once her eyes hadn't reopened and he could tell she was asleep. He brushed the hair that had fallen over her face and brought his arm down to rest over her waist, smiling as she unconsciously moved toward his touch, drawing in closer to him.

* * *

Tumblr: Adangerousbond


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